Circling My Mother

Reading this piece of work first off really made me miss my mom! It also made me dread the inevitability of my mom, and dad, getting older and aging. I thought about how one day I will be in her place and will be the caretaker of my dying parents. Mary Gordon boldly talked about her strong feelings of hate and disgust towards her mother's rotting body. She did not intend to betray her mother in her writing, but did in a way because she revealed so much about her and talked harshly about her. It was interesting to me how Mary Gordon admitted that her mother's death was somewhat of a relief and I was initially appalled. How could someone be relieved that their mother, who was strong, independent and loving, finally died. This emotional reaction to her mother's death made me think of my relationship with my mother. How will I come to feel about her in her dying days? Will I dread going to visit her and feel repulsed every time I see her? I know that she had these feelings because her mother's body was literally rotting and the dementia she suffered from took all of her memories, but I expected some sort of sympathy. Her mother did not choose to end the way she did. She had lived a very independent successful life despite her disability and hardships. It is not ideal for anyone to lose all sense of independence and not be able to take care of themselves. The thought of death and especially such decay as described in this memoir gave me a feeling of helplessness. I know death is inevitable but why does it have to be so agonizing for some?